Showing posts with label Denial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Denial. Show all posts
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Friday, 5 August 2011
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
A little bit of back and forth...
Me and Good Hubby have been having a little bit of back and forth on his blog over the last twenty four hours, the culmination of which was him reminding me that not being allowed to masturbate isn't that big a problem since because he is the dominant partner in the relationship (it's very confusing...) he can simply order his wife to stimulate his cock for him. The sting in the tail is that she controls his orgasm... (as I said, it's pretty fucked up).
So anyway, the reason for all this was that one day GH was talking about long term orgasm denial and the next he was talking about a weekend of extreme domination for his wife NW, and it seemed to me that him not cumming was kind of handicapping his ability to give NW the weekend of utter submission she craved. Indeed, NW has given GH the right to cum as much as he wants that weekend, but he still insists he's not intending to do so...
Of course my situation is somewhat different, well, entirely different, lets be honest. And inevitably there's times when I do wonder exactly what I have got myself into. Take last night for example, after going down on Mistress R and being left rock hard by her foot teasing antics, and then being teased a little more, we got up to watch TV for an hour before heading off to bed.
As I struggled to get to sleep I found myself thinking about earlier and expanding on it to the point where my cock was achingly hard and begging for attention. I was considering asking Mistress R for permission to touch my cock (early days I know, but it ached!) when I realised that she had actually managed to fall asleep (I wish I had a pound for every time that's happened in the last four months). Frustrated, I decided to get up as I plainly wasn't about to fall asleep, even though the window was open and I was getting the occasional waft of cool air. My cock and the heat were conspiring against me.
Of course I should have known this would lead me into a dangerous situation, and sure enough it wasn't more than fifteen minutes before I cracked and started to stroke my throbbing cock. I guess the memory of the paddle had faded enough to allow me to let my guard down, and so a good half hour (and numerous edges) later I returned to bed, a little less frustrated and tired enough to finally go to sleep.
Of course I regret it now, but the deed is done and I'll have to take the punishment when Mistress R decides to dish it out. But it's times like these when you do start to question the wisdom of handing all control to your partner. I mean, what was I thinking when I agreed that I wasn't allowed to touch my cock, or even to ask to be allowed to penetrate her? Not allowed to even 'ask'? Nope I just have to wait and hope that sooner or later she'll want me inside her... What kind of fool would agree to such a demand?
On the other hand, everything that I have said before about this stands, I'd rather be denied penetration than be 'indulged'. That is the worst of all options as far as I'm concerned. And as I've said before, reducing the amount of penetration allowed certainly makes it a spectacular sensation when it happens, and being allowed to cum inside Mistress R's beautiful pussy is now an 'event' rather than an everyday occurrence.
Over the last four months I estimate that I've been inside Mistress R seven or eight times. A couple of those times were full on fucking and resulted in memorable orgasms for me, and the rest have largely been fairly brief teasing. Only once in the last four months have I been on top, the one controlling the speed and force of my thrusts (fairly gentle actually since I had been denied for a while at that point, and I was wearing the cocksling which meant my cock was like an iron bar... still Mistress R certainly seemed to enjoy it!) and that one came to an end when Mistress R placed her hands on my chest, pushing me away until I slipped out of her, my aching cock still throbbing hard in the iron grip of the cocksling, desperate to unload, but not permitted to do so. I so loved that moment... and still do. And that is why, although I gave in to the desire to touch and edge myself, even though I know I will be punished for it, I still did not cross the line and give myself the one thing that only Mistress R is empowered to permit.
So yes, there are undoubtedly times when I doubt my choices, but ultimately I know I have made the right one. If this was an easy path then I know it wouldn't be half as rewarding when I reach that long awaited moment, the one when Mistress R finally tells me that I can release those weeks of pent up frustration and luxuriate in the intense pleasure of my long denied orgasm...
You can tell from my captions and writing that I fantasize about Mistress R being still more heartless, selfish about taking what she wants from me, denying me and keeping me frustrated by teasing me mercilessly until I ache for her, and I do believe that she has that potential within her. I have to constantly remind myself that it has only been four months since we really started doing this properly, and that it's not easy for her to reconcile that 'character' with the loving wife that she is.
When I read about Good Hubby putting his hands around NW's throat, I wince inside, knowing that I would find that incredibly difficult, even though it's plain that NW wants and needs to be treated that way (it makes her cum FFS!), I guess sooner or later you get used to the idea and then as confidence grows you start to give the other person what they really wants, in the way that you simply can't while you are still finding your feet.
Reading the Naked Husband's blog (here), it's clear that over the last year or so his wife has gradually come to accept that his cock is now her property, to be used for whatever pleases her. He is no longer in a position to 'fuck' her for his own pleasure, especially since he is locked in a chastity device.
I would love to know what the future holds for Mistress R and I, maybe a few years hence... or maybe it's better not to know. Maybe if I knew what was going to happen I would be panicking now... no perhaps it's better to experience the future slowly and gradually...
So anyway, the reason for all this was that one day GH was talking about long term orgasm denial and the next he was talking about a weekend of extreme domination for his wife NW, and it seemed to me that him not cumming was kind of handicapping his ability to give NW the weekend of utter submission she craved. Indeed, NW has given GH the right to cum as much as he wants that weekend, but he still insists he's not intending to do so...
Of course my situation is somewhat different, well, entirely different, lets be honest. And inevitably there's times when I do wonder exactly what I have got myself into. Take last night for example, after going down on Mistress R and being left rock hard by her foot teasing antics, and then being teased a little more, we got up to watch TV for an hour before heading off to bed.
As I struggled to get to sleep I found myself thinking about earlier and expanding on it to the point where my cock was achingly hard and begging for attention. I was considering asking Mistress R for permission to touch my cock (early days I know, but it ached!) when I realised that she had actually managed to fall asleep (I wish I had a pound for every time that's happened in the last four months). Frustrated, I decided to get up as I plainly wasn't about to fall asleep, even though the window was open and I was getting the occasional waft of cool air. My cock and the heat were conspiring against me.
Of course I should have known this would lead me into a dangerous situation, and sure enough it wasn't more than fifteen minutes before I cracked and started to stroke my throbbing cock. I guess the memory of the paddle had faded enough to allow me to let my guard down, and so a good half hour (and numerous edges) later I returned to bed, a little less frustrated and tired enough to finally go to sleep.
Of course I regret it now, but the deed is done and I'll have to take the punishment when Mistress R decides to dish it out. But it's times like these when you do start to question the wisdom of handing all control to your partner. I mean, what was I thinking when I agreed that I wasn't allowed to touch my cock, or even to ask to be allowed to penetrate her? Not allowed to even 'ask'? Nope I just have to wait and hope that sooner or later she'll want me inside her... What kind of fool would agree to such a demand?
On the other hand, everything that I have said before about this stands, I'd rather be denied penetration than be 'indulged'. That is the worst of all options as far as I'm concerned. And as I've said before, reducing the amount of penetration allowed certainly makes it a spectacular sensation when it happens, and being allowed to cum inside Mistress R's beautiful pussy is now an 'event' rather than an everyday occurrence.
Over the last four months I estimate that I've been inside Mistress R seven or eight times. A couple of those times were full on fucking and resulted in memorable orgasms for me, and the rest have largely been fairly brief teasing. Only once in the last four months have I been on top, the one controlling the speed and force of my thrusts (fairly gentle actually since I had been denied for a while at that point, and I was wearing the cocksling which meant my cock was like an iron bar... still Mistress R certainly seemed to enjoy it!) and that one came to an end when Mistress R placed her hands on my chest, pushing me away until I slipped out of her, my aching cock still throbbing hard in the iron grip of the cocksling, desperate to unload, but not permitted to do so. I so loved that moment... and still do. And that is why, although I gave in to the desire to touch and edge myself, even though I know I will be punished for it, I still did not cross the line and give myself the one thing that only Mistress R is empowered to permit.
So yes, there are undoubtedly times when I doubt my choices, but ultimately I know I have made the right one. If this was an easy path then I know it wouldn't be half as rewarding when I reach that long awaited moment, the one when Mistress R finally tells me that I can release those weeks of pent up frustration and luxuriate in the intense pleasure of my long denied orgasm...
You can tell from my captions and writing that I fantasize about Mistress R being still more heartless, selfish about taking what she wants from me, denying me and keeping me frustrated by teasing me mercilessly until I ache for her, and I do believe that she has that potential within her. I have to constantly remind myself that it has only been four months since we really started doing this properly, and that it's not easy for her to reconcile that 'character' with the loving wife that she is.
When I read about Good Hubby putting his hands around NW's throat, I wince inside, knowing that I would find that incredibly difficult, even though it's plain that NW wants and needs to be treated that way (it makes her cum FFS!), I guess sooner or later you get used to the idea and then as confidence grows you start to give the other person what they really wants, in the way that you simply can't while you are still finding your feet.
Reading the Naked Husband's blog (here), it's clear that over the last year or so his wife has gradually come to accept that his cock is now her property, to be used for whatever pleases her. He is no longer in a position to 'fuck' her for his own pleasure, especially since he is locked in a chastity device.
I would love to know what the future holds for Mistress R and I, maybe a few years hence... or maybe it's better not to know. Maybe if I knew what was going to happen I would be panicking now... no perhaps it's better to experience the future slowly and gradually...
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Friday, 29 July 2011
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Monday, 25 July 2011
I hardly know where to begin...
Mistress R and I got home on Saturday evening, but there was so much to do and then yesterday I was going to post here but by the time I got round to it I was getting tired and I really wanted to spend the last hours of the weekend with Mistress R. But now finally I am here (now that I've caught up with all the blogs I watch and Good Hubby's enormous posts...) and ready to tell you everything. You might want to get some kind of beverage as this could be the longest post ever...
FRIDAY.
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So as you may or may not know, this last Sunday was International Femdom Day, which provided me with the perfect excuse for spoiling Mistress R and making her feel special. To this end I decided that I would take her away somewhere for the night (Mistress R and I are both very odd when it comes to going on holidays, we both love it for about 30 hours and then we want to go home, so one night is perfect for us!).
We went away a few months ago and we stayed near Bristol in a Doubletree Hilton, which was lovely, so instead of trying to think of somewhere to go I looked at where the Doubletree Hilton's are and worked backwards. Well there aren't that many of them, but there was one near Chester and I discovered that there was a Retail Outlet place nearby too (perfect!) and the plan was that we would go there on the Friday and then come home via Tatton Park (a huge stately home) on the Saturday.
Now of course all this was planned in secret, but me being crap at keeping secrets and Mistress R pretty much hates surprises (unless they are in little boxes) I eventually told her. Which was just as well as it turned out because Mistress R managed to find two crucial pieces of information. 1) She discovered one of the best restaurants I've ever been to within fifteen minutes drive of the hotel and 2) She discovered that Tatton Park was hosting a massive flower show! Now we wouldn't have minded seeing the flower show, but we both knew that the place was going to be rammed and we hate crowds, so we decided a change of plan was in order.
As it turned out the retail outlet turned out to be a lot better than we expected and we ended up spending about five hours there, which meant that by the time we got to the Hotel it was past three in the afternoon and it really didn't seem worth going in to Chester for an hour before it started to close. So instead we relaxed a bit in the room which was easier said than done as it turned out because first I couldn't get the air conditioning to work so we had to get a man to come and show us how it worked and then we realised the fridge in our room was broken so another call to reception (we wouldn't have bothered but the room was so hot and we'd bought a selection of Lindt chocolates at the Retail Outlet and we didn't want them to melt) and fair play to them they brought us a new fridge and fitted it... by which time, we were a bit fratchety and my hoped for afternoon of pussy worship looked like it was going down the pan... hmm. At this point even the complimentary Doubletree cookie wasn't enough to put a smile back on my face (it was nicely cinnamony, but not quite as nice as the Bristol one somehow).
Mistress R was feeling particularly fidgety and she suddenly decided that we should go for a walk (because we'd only spent like five hours walking around the Retail Outlet, yes I know it's not exactly cardio-vascular but still, I have a bad foot!). So we walked around the hotel in about five minutes and Mistress R decided that we should go to the gym since we had the run of the place. Well as you can imagine, I was not best pleased with this. I had envisaged a lazy afternoon spent gently licking Mistress R's pussy and now I was going to be spending my leisure time on a fucking treadmill. Excellent.
But, this weekend was supposed to be about making her feel special so I bit my lip (to some extent) and we spent a half hour on the treadmills, which was fine actually, great treadmills they had there, much better than the one I had until fairly recently anyway, but probably a lot more expensive to be fair. So after thirty minutes Mistress R had had enough while I was in the zone and ready to carry on for another half hour. So we went back to the room and showered (Mistress R turned the shower on but couldn't figure out how to turn it off again so she called on my massive man-brain to figure it out for her) and then I read a bit of my book before, giving Mistress R one of the three pairs of earrings I had bought for the weekend (she loved them all - but then I do have impeccable taste, haha) and then we went out to the restaurant Mistress R had found on the net.
It was called The Pheasant Inn and it was in a nearby village and it was quite the nicest gastro-pub/restaurant I have ever been in and the food was delicious. We left about 10:45 feeling very fat and content, and in Mistress R's case slightly inebriated (I rarely drink anything at all and of course I was driving). Despite this when we returned to the room Mistress R decided that it was time for my treat (since I had once again lost weight this week: another 1.5lbs, making a total of 13lbs in five weeks!) and had me lay on the bed and then gave me a lovely but quite gentle blowjob (it later transpired that my comments about her hurting me the other day had backfired on me and I had to reassure her that it was only that one thing she had done which had hurt and that if anything I would like her to be more rough with me generally).
Of course with our Femdom session looming on Sunday I knew that she wouldn't let me cum, whether or not she was going to let me cum on Sunday, but it was still lovely and I enjoyed every last second of it and afterwards I decided to give her the next pair of earrings (that I had originally intended to give her the next morning).
Feeling quite tired now we decided to call it a night, of course I was massively disappointed that I hadn't got to go down on Mistress R, especially as I knew she wouldn't even want me to do it the next morning lest it took the edge of the session on Sunday, but Mistress R doesn't find it very easy to cum when she's been drinking and I was stuffed full of Gastro pub grub. So we turned off the air conditioning (too noisy) and went to sleep.
Well, that was a mistake, the room was a like an oven (it wasn't even that warm outside) and I woke up about three hours later sweating like a bastard and looked over to see Mistress R laying on top of the bedclothes (which she never, ever does). There was a phone by her side of the bed which had a blue screen on it which somehow incredibly lit up the whole room and this blue light made her look like an erotic photo, I must have laid for ten or fifteen minutes enjoying the beautiful sight of Mistress R laying on her back bathed in this blue light, she looked absolutely stunning and I wished I had a camera with me so that I could take a photo, eventually I fell asleep.
Incidentally, when I write things like that Mistress R often comments that she's really not all that and I am misleading my readers. Well bollocks to that, she is beautiful and sexy as hell even if she doesn't see it herself. I wish she could see herself through my eyes and then she would realise how utterly gorgeous she is. It is one of my pet hates that women are manipulated by the media to think that they are unattractive unless they conform to the stereotypical images that they present, even though it's well known that even the women they hold up as role models don't actually look like that (have you seen Kelly Brook without the right lighting and retouching, hmm....). I find it deeply tragic and one of the things that I love about Femdom is that it gives the opportunity for the woman to feel like she is completely worshipped and treasured above all others.
One of the best parts of any day for me is first thing in the morning when Mistress R gets out of bed and literally the first thing I see is her naked, it's wonderful and yet frustrating because every morning without fail I want to grab her and pull her back into bed so that I can bring her to orgasm...
But of course, like every woman, she would point to bits of her body that she thinks aren't 'perfect' whereas all I see is one completely awesome and utterly sexy package of hotness. On the upside I do think she is starting to see it my way, which is great because there's nothing sexier than a sexy hot woman who knows she's sexy and hot and uses it to tease and frustrate her husband (that'll be me!).
Speaking of which, as you know, I adore Mistress R's sexy feet and one of the things I wanted to do this weekend was to buy her some really slutty shoes that show off her gorgeous feet and toes. This was actually Mistress R's idea initially (even better!!!) but I was all for it (of course!) and so we went in search of shoes that were suitably slutty but not impossible to walk in (Mistress R isn't big on massive heels). And of course where better to find them than a retail outlet?
Well, after several false starts (there's a lot of slutty shoes about but nearly all of them have six inch heels, and Mistress's tiny feet would barely touch the floor!) we came across some Carvelo's in Kurt Geiger and we both thought they were just perfect.
It was a couple of hours drive back which passed relatively quickly and it was nice to get home. After we had unpacked all our goodies (including a ton of Hotel Chocolat which is to be severely rationed and not gobbled!) I had to go do the shopping and then I did some cooking, washed the cars and then tried to post something to the blog, but was too tired.
SUNDAY
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Finally the day had arrived, Mistress R got her last pair of earrings (Swarovski crystals, which she loved) but first there was the small matter of our Femdom session. Of course, we had agreed that from now on she was under no obligation to let me cum in the sessions, and since I had had the most spectacular and wonderful orgasm just seven days ago I was hoping that she wouldn't allow me to cum, but I still had my doubts that she would go through with it.
The thing is we've been having these sessions for a long time now and every single time I have cum, and for the last few years at least, every single time I have been made to lick my cum off her hand, foot or breast, so to have a session finish without her letting me cum was a massive deal. But for some time now I had wanted her to deny me in the session, even if it was only once, that way it would introduce the possibility of denial in every session. In our very recent sessions she had said she might decide not to let me cum, and I loved that she said it, but deep down I knew it was a hollow threat.
The problem was that the sessions were in place long before the chastity thing, and so once it got to the point where I had gone from one session to the next without cumming (28 days) it was apparent that the sessions would become a stumbling block if Mistress R wanted to make me wait longer. For me, I wanted her to have complete control of my orgasms, and I wanted to remove the obligation for her to allow me to cum.
We discussed this recently after Mistress had read posts I had made on my blog, since she was unsure that what I was posting was what I actually genuinely felt, and once I had told her that it was indeed how I felt, that I genuinely wanted her to have complete and utter control over my orgasms she seemed much happier about it and that is how we came to this huge turning point...
The session began as always with me on my knees, waiting for her in the bedroom, blindfolded, with ankle and wrist cuffs in place and the wonderful Oxballs Cocksling (buy one, you won't be disappointed!) fitted around my cock and balls. Mistress entered and I felt her toenails scratching at my balls before she started talking to me about how she needed to punish me for failing to keep my hands off my cock. She said that even though I had only touched it twice, which was a great improvement, it couldn't be overlooked that one of those times was an outrageous flaunting of her rules, she also suggested that in future the length of time I spent touching my cock would be taken into account rather than merely the number of 'instances'.
She had me turn and lean over the bed and then she gave me ten lashes of the whip, each one I thanked her for and counted, even the ones where the tails curled around my hip slightly and caused me to wince. Then she started with the paddle, first the suede side and then the leather, harder and stingier every time. At the ninth I was really feeling it and barely got the words out, thankfully she stopped at eleven and I was told to kneel back down again.
Then she lay on the bed and told me to start worshipping her feet, which I love doing. I could hear her finger working it's way inside her pussy as I was sucking her toes and kissing her instep and then she allowed me to lick her finger clean before continuing with my task. I love it when she has me worship her feet, especially when she talks to me while I do it. This time was no exception as she related to me how my cock was her cock now, and that it was her's to play with, tease, suck, stroke, bite (oh yes!) or lock up if that was what pleased her... this had the effect of making my cock (shrivelled to nothing by the pain of the paddle just a few moments previously) absolutely rock hard, and made me hope that it wouldn't be too much longer until she touched it.
She told me to stop worshipping her feet and had me get on the bed, where she tied me spreadeagled on my back. Almost immediately she mounted my face and I licked her pussy, focussing on her clit which brought some appreciative groans from Mistress's throat as she leaned back to stroke my rock hard cock. After a while she got off and knelt beside me on the bed, stroking my cock before picking up the small cock whip. She gave my cock a nice whipping (interspersed with more stroking and face sitting), which was very intense but very hot all the same, and then she let go and the next thing I know she was pushing a smallish dildo into my ass, before whipping my cock some more.
Then she decided she wanted to fill my ass more, so she picked up the black rubber butt plug and lubed it up. She got it a fair way in, but with me on my back it was never going to get past the 'shoulders' and stay in, which was quite disappointing really. Frustrated, Mistress R gave up on that and grabbed her strap-on, plunging it into my ass in one thrust (I love it when she does things like that, even though it was a little uncomfortable, because out of session she would never do that and it reassures me that there is more potential natural dominance in Mistress R just waiting to be brought to the surface...). Then she attached clothes pegs to my nipples and sat on my face one more time before telling me that she was leaving me alone for a while and that when she came back I would be going down on her.
She left me alone for ten minutes or so and when she came back she finally took my blindfold off and I could see her gorgeous body at last. She had me remove the cocksling and then she lay down on the bed and told me to make her cum, while I blissfully lay on my front determined to give her the best pussy worship I could possibly manage. After about ten or fifteen minutes Mistress R bucked hard against me and I grabbed hold of her and worked her clit with my tongue until she finally pushed my head away, completely spent. I know it was good because for a moment she slipped out of character and said 'Thank you baby', which made me smile, but then it was back to business and she told me to lick her juices off the black PVC sheet and then she stood on the bed in front of me and had me lick all the pussy juice of her thighs and then told me to lick between her ass cheeks. She allowed me to tongue her ass for about a minute I guess, which was wonderful and much anticipated, before she told me to stop and then tied my wrists to the bed and told me to get my ass in the air.
I heard her pick up the strap-on again and secure it around her waist, then she lubed it and my ass nicely and got on the bed behind me. Soon she was inside me, fucking my ass and reaching around to stroke my half hard cock (sometimes the strap-on makes me hard sometimes it has the complete opposite effect) she fucked me for a few minutes and then pulled out and untied my wrists. She told me to turn over and then sat astride me, pushing the strap-on into my mouth (having removed the condom...) and telling me how hot I looked sucking her cock. Then she got off me and removed the strap-on and started stroking my cock again, she straddled my face and pressed her ass against my mouth again, I wanted to tongue it but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to or not... so I simply stuck out my tongue a little way between my lips and allowed her to press her asshole against it.
Finally she got off again and knelt beside me on bed, she looked so beautiful then, just beautiful, gently stroking my cock and here was the moment of truth... was she going to make me cum like every time before, or was she going to take full control of my orgasms? I was conflicted, of course I wanted to cum, but at the same time I wanted her to take that control and deny me. As I watched her she gave little away, but I noticed she kept glancing at the clock, watching the minutes and seconds of the hour tick down to nothing as she reminded me that I had to try harder not to touch my cock, and then.... she let my cock go.
"End of session," she said, obviously feeling slightly odd about the fact that I hadn't cum. I lay there for a moment while she fetched a glass of water and then afterwards we lay there enjoying each other's closeness.
Later she sought reassurance that I wasn't disappointed that I hadn't been allowed to cum, I wasn't disappointed, it just felt weird (actually one of the strangest things about it was not finishing the session with the taste of cum in my mouth)... but I was so happy because I made her cum so hard and because by not allowing me to cum she had broken through the last remaining barrier to her having complete control of my orgasms. It truly was a massive milestone moment and now the truth is I really don't have the foggiest idea when I will cum again, which feels absolutely wonderful. Finally Mistress R has 100% control of my orgasms, and I LOVE it.
MONDAY
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This morning I found a lovely card from Mistress R thanking her for making her weekend so amazing and her feel so spoiled and satisfied. I love her so much, and I'm already impatient to taste her pussy again and make her cum (who am I kidding, that started about two minutes after I finished licking the sheet clean yesterday).
FRIDAY.
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So as you may or may not know, this last Sunday was International Femdom Day, which provided me with the perfect excuse for spoiling Mistress R and making her feel special. To this end I decided that I would take her away somewhere for the night (Mistress R and I are both very odd when it comes to going on holidays, we both love it for about 30 hours and then we want to go home, so one night is perfect for us!).
We went away a few months ago and we stayed near Bristol in a Doubletree Hilton, which was lovely, so instead of trying to think of somewhere to go I looked at where the Doubletree Hilton's are and worked backwards. Well there aren't that many of them, but there was one near Chester and I discovered that there was a Retail Outlet place nearby too (perfect!) and the plan was that we would go there on the Friday and then come home via Tatton Park (a huge stately home) on the Saturday.
Now of course all this was planned in secret, but me being crap at keeping secrets and Mistress R pretty much hates surprises (unless they are in little boxes) I eventually told her. Which was just as well as it turned out because Mistress R managed to find two crucial pieces of information. 1) She discovered one of the best restaurants I've ever been to within fifteen minutes drive of the hotel and 2) She discovered that Tatton Park was hosting a massive flower show! Now we wouldn't have minded seeing the flower show, but we both knew that the place was going to be rammed and we hate crowds, so we decided a change of plan was in order.
As it turned out the retail outlet turned out to be a lot better than we expected and we ended up spending about five hours there, which meant that by the time we got to the Hotel it was past three in the afternoon and it really didn't seem worth going in to Chester for an hour before it started to close. So instead we relaxed a bit in the room which was easier said than done as it turned out because first I couldn't get the air conditioning to work so we had to get a man to come and show us how it worked and then we realised the fridge in our room was broken so another call to reception (we wouldn't have bothered but the room was so hot and we'd bought a selection of Lindt chocolates at the Retail Outlet and we didn't want them to melt) and fair play to them they brought us a new fridge and fitted it... by which time, we were a bit fratchety and my hoped for afternoon of pussy worship looked like it was going down the pan... hmm. At this point even the complimentary Doubletree cookie wasn't enough to put a smile back on my face (it was nicely cinnamony, but not quite as nice as the Bristol one somehow).
Mistress R was feeling particularly fidgety and she suddenly decided that we should go for a walk (because we'd only spent like five hours walking around the Retail Outlet, yes I know it's not exactly cardio-vascular but still, I have a bad foot!). So we walked around the hotel in about five minutes and Mistress R decided that we should go to the gym since we had the run of the place. Well as you can imagine, I was not best pleased with this. I had envisaged a lazy afternoon spent gently licking Mistress R's pussy and now I was going to be spending my leisure time on a fucking treadmill. Excellent.
But, this weekend was supposed to be about making her feel special so I bit my lip (to some extent) and we spent a half hour on the treadmills, which was fine actually, great treadmills they had there, much better than the one I had until fairly recently anyway, but probably a lot more expensive to be fair. So after thirty minutes Mistress R had had enough while I was in the zone and ready to carry on for another half hour. So we went back to the room and showered (Mistress R turned the shower on but couldn't figure out how to turn it off again so she called on my massive man-brain to figure it out for her) and then I read a bit of my book before, giving Mistress R one of the three pairs of earrings I had bought for the weekend (she loved them all - but then I do have impeccable taste, haha) and then we went out to the restaurant Mistress R had found on the net.
It was called The Pheasant Inn and it was in a nearby village and it was quite the nicest gastro-pub/restaurant I have ever been in and the food was delicious. We left about 10:45 feeling very fat and content, and in Mistress R's case slightly inebriated (I rarely drink anything at all and of course I was driving). Despite this when we returned to the room Mistress R decided that it was time for my treat (since I had once again lost weight this week: another 1.5lbs, making a total of 13lbs in five weeks!) and had me lay on the bed and then gave me a lovely but quite gentle blowjob (it later transpired that my comments about her hurting me the other day had backfired on me and I had to reassure her that it was only that one thing she had done which had hurt and that if anything I would like her to be more rough with me generally).
Of course with our Femdom session looming on Sunday I knew that she wouldn't let me cum, whether or not she was going to let me cum on Sunday, but it was still lovely and I enjoyed every last second of it and afterwards I decided to give her the next pair of earrings (that I had originally intended to give her the next morning).
Feeling quite tired now we decided to call it a night, of course I was massively disappointed that I hadn't got to go down on Mistress R, especially as I knew she wouldn't even want me to do it the next morning lest it took the edge of the session on Sunday, but Mistress R doesn't find it very easy to cum when she's been drinking and I was stuffed full of Gastro pub grub. So we turned off the air conditioning (too noisy) and went to sleep.
Well, that was a mistake, the room was a like an oven (it wasn't even that warm outside) and I woke up about three hours later sweating like a bastard and looked over to see Mistress R laying on top of the bedclothes (which she never, ever does). There was a phone by her side of the bed which had a blue screen on it which somehow incredibly lit up the whole room and this blue light made her look like an erotic photo, I must have laid for ten or fifteen minutes enjoying the beautiful sight of Mistress R laying on her back bathed in this blue light, she looked absolutely stunning and I wished I had a camera with me so that I could take a photo, eventually I fell asleep.
Incidentally, when I write things like that Mistress R often comments that she's really not all that and I am misleading my readers. Well bollocks to that, she is beautiful and sexy as hell even if she doesn't see it herself. I wish she could see herself through my eyes and then she would realise how utterly gorgeous she is. It is one of my pet hates that women are manipulated by the media to think that they are unattractive unless they conform to the stereotypical images that they present, even though it's well known that even the women they hold up as role models don't actually look like that (have you seen Kelly Brook without the right lighting and retouching, hmm....). I find it deeply tragic and one of the things that I love about Femdom is that it gives the opportunity for the woman to feel like she is completely worshipped and treasured above all others.
One of the best parts of any day for me is first thing in the morning when Mistress R gets out of bed and literally the first thing I see is her naked, it's wonderful and yet frustrating because every morning without fail I want to grab her and pull her back into bed so that I can bring her to orgasm...
But of course, like every woman, she would point to bits of her body that she thinks aren't 'perfect' whereas all I see is one completely awesome and utterly sexy package of hotness. On the upside I do think she is starting to see it my way, which is great because there's nothing sexier than a sexy hot woman who knows she's sexy and hot and uses it to tease and frustrate her husband (that'll be me!).
Speaking of which, as you know, I adore Mistress R's sexy feet and one of the things I wanted to do this weekend was to buy her some really slutty shoes that show off her gorgeous feet and toes. This was actually Mistress R's idea initially (even better!!!) but I was all for it (of course!) and so we went in search of shoes that were suitably slutty but not impossible to walk in (Mistress R isn't big on massive heels). And of course where better to find them than a retail outlet?
Well, after several false starts (there's a lot of slutty shoes about but nearly all of them have six inch heels, and Mistress's tiny feet would barely touch the floor!) we came across some Carvelo's in Kurt Geiger and we both thought they were just perfect.
Mmm, so fucking hot!!!
These shoes have little zips at the back and Mistress R was struggling to get them off and we were giggling as she held her foot out and said 'Take them off!', well, frankly I was about ready to do just that and suck her toes right in the middle of the shop... fortunately sanity prevailed and we managed to purchase the shoes without further incident.
SATURDAY
--------------
So Saturday arrived and after a shower and breakfast (slightly disappointing it must be said) we left the hotel and headed into Chester. It was okay, we walked around the city walls, a good 40 minute walk, and we went on a boat trip up the river (which was great), we also had some lovely locally produced Mint Choc Chip ice cream and then we looked at each other and said 'Time to go home'!It was a couple of hours drive back which passed relatively quickly and it was nice to get home. After we had unpacked all our goodies (including a ton of Hotel Chocolat which is to be severely rationed and not gobbled!) I had to go do the shopping and then I did some cooking, washed the cars and then tried to post something to the blog, but was too tired.
SUNDAY
-----------
Finally the day had arrived, Mistress R got her last pair of earrings (Swarovski crystals, which she loved) but first there was the small matter of our Femdom session. Of course, we had agreed that from now on she was under no obligation to let me cum in the sessions, and since I had had the most spectacular and wonderful orgasm just seven days ago I was hoping that she wouldn't allow me to cum, but I still had my doubts that she would go through with it.
The thing is we've been having these sessions for a long time now and every single time I have cum, and for the last few years at least, every single time I have been made to lick my cum off her hand, foot or breast, so to have a session finish without her letting me cum was a massive deal. But for some time now I had wanted her to deny me in the session, even if it was only once, that way it would introduce the possibility of denial in every session. In our very recent sessions she had said she might decide not to let me cum, and I loved that she said it, but deep down I knew it was a hollow threat.
The problem was that the sessions were in place long before the chastity thing, and so once it got to the point where I had gone from one session to the next without cumming (28 days) it was apparent that the sessions would become a stumbling block if Mistress R wanted to make me wait longer. For me, I wanted her to have complete control of my orgasms, and I wanted to remove the obligation for her to allow me to cum.
We discussed this recently after Mistress had read posts I had made on my blog, since she was unsure that what I was posting was what I actually genuinely felt, and once I had told her that it was indeed how I felt, that I genuinely wanted her to have complete and utter control over my orgasms she seemed much happier about it and that is how we came to this huge turning point...
The session began as always with me on my knees, waiting for her in the bedroom, blindfolded, with ankle and wrist cuffs in place and the wonderful Oxballs Cocksling (buy one, you won't be disappointed!) fitted around my cock and balls. Mistress entered and I felt her toenails scratching at my balls before she started talking to me about how she needed to punish me for failing to keep my hands off my cock. She said that even though I had only touched it twice, which was a great improvement, it couldn't be overlooked that one of those times was an outrageous flaunting of her rules, she also suggested that in future the length of time I spent touching my cock would be taken into account rather than merely the number of 'instances'.
She had me turn and lean over the bed and then she gave me ten lashes of the whip, each one I thanked her for and counted, even the ones where the tails curled around my hip slightly and caused me to wince. Then she started with the paddle, first the suede side and then the leather, harder and stingier every time. At the ninth I was really feeling it and barely got the words out, thankfully she stopped at eleven and I was told to kneel back down again.
Then she lay on the bed and told me to start worshipping her feet, which I love doing. I could hear her finger working it's way inside her pussy as I was sucking her toes and kissing her instep and then she allowed me to lick her finger clean before continuing with my task. I love it when she has me worship her feet, especially when she talks to me while I do it. This time was no exception as she related to me how my cock was her cock now, and that it was her's to play with, tease, suck, stroke, bite (oh yes!) or lock up if that was what pleased her... this had the effect of making my cock (shrivelled to nothing by the pain of the paddle just a few moments previously) absolutely rock hard, and made me hope that it wouldn't be too much longer until she touched it.
She told me to stop worshipping her feet and had me get on the bed, where she tied me spreadeagled on my back. Almost immediately she mounted my face and I licked her pussy, focussing on her clit which brought some appreciative groans from Mistress's throat as she leaned back to stroke my rock hard cock. After a while she got off and knelt beside me on the bed, stroking my cock before picking up the small cock whip. She gave my cock a nice whipping (interspersed with more stroking and face sitting), which was very intense but very hot all the same, and then she let go and the next thing I know she was pushing a smallish dildo into my ass, before whipping my cock some more.
Then she decided she wanted to fill my ass more, so she picked up the black rubber butt plug and lubed it up. She got it a fair way in, but with me on my back it was never going to get past the 'shoulders' and stay in, which was quite disappointing really. Frustrated, Mistress R gave up on that and grabbed her strap-on, plunging it into my ass in one thrust (I love it when she does things like that, even though it was a little uncomfortable, because out of session she would never do that and it reassures me that there is more potential natural dominance in Mistress R just waiting to be brought to the surface...). Then she attached clothes pegs to my nipples and sat on my face one more time before telling me that she was leaving me alone for a while and that when she came back I would be going down on her.
She left me alone for ten minutes or so and when she came back she finally took my blindfold off and I could see her gorgeous body at last. She had me remove the cocksling and then she lay down on the bed and told me to make her cum, while I blissfully lay on my front determined to give her the best pussy worship I could possibly manage. After about ten or fifteen minutes Mistress R bucked hard against me and I grabbed hold of her and worked her clit with my tongue until she finally pushed my head away, completely spent. I know it was good because for a moment she slipped out of character and said 'Thank you baby', which made me smile, but then it was back to business and she told me to lick her juices off the black PVC sheet and then she stood on the bed in front of me and had me lick all the pussy juice of her thighs and then told me to lick between her ass cheeks. She allowed me to tongue her ass for about a minute I guess, which was wonderful and much anticipated, before she told me to stop and then tied my wrists to the bed and told me to get my ass in the air.
I heard her pick up the strap-on again and secure it around her waist, then she lubed it and my ass nicely and got on the bed behind me. Soon she was inside me, fucking my ass and reaching around to stroke my half hard cock (sometimes the strap-on makes me hard sometimes it has the complete opposite effect) she fucked me for a few minutes and then pulled out and untied my wrists. She told me to turn over and then sat astride me, pushing the strap-on into my mouth (having removed the condom...) and telling me how hot I looked sucking her cock. Then she got off me and removed the strap-on and started stroking my cock again, she straddled my face and pressed her ass against my mouth again, I wanted to tongue it but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to or not... so I simply stuck out my tongue a little way between my lips and allowed her to press her asshole against it.
Finally she got off again and knelt beside me on bed, she looked so beautiful then, just beautiful, gently stroking my cock and here was the moment of truth... was she going to make me cum like every time before, or was she going to take full control of my orgasms? I was conflicted, of course I wanted to cum, but at the same time I wanted her to take that control and deny me. As I watched her she gave little away, but I noticed she kept glancing at the clock, watching the minutes and seconds of the hour tick down to nothing as she reminded me that I had to try harder not to touch my cock, and then.... she let my cock go.
"End of session," she said, obviously feeling slightly odd about the fact that I hadn't cum. I lay there for a moment while she fetched a glass of water and then afterwards we lay there enjoying each other's closeness.
Later she sought reassurance that I wasn't disappointed that I hadn't been allowed to cum, I wasn't disappointed, it just felt weird (actually one of the strangest things about it was not finishing the session with the taste of cum in my mouth)... but I was so happy because I made her cum so hard and because by not allowing me to cum she had broken through the last remaining barrier to her having complete control of my orgasms. It truly was a massive milestone moment and now the truth is I really don't have the foggiest idea when I will cum again, which feels absolutely wonderful. Finally Mistress R has 100% control of my orgasms, and I LOVE it.
MONDAY
-----------
This morning I found a lovely card from Mistress R thanking her for making her weekend so amazing and her feel so spoiled and satisfied. I love her so much, and I'm already impatient to taste her pussy again and make her cum (who am I kidding, that started about two minutes after I finished licking the sheet clean yesterday).
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
The magic twelve, and self-denial...
Isn't it funny, I once (and not even that long ago actually) wrote a story about a guy who was told he would be getting twelve orgasms in a year (you can read it here if you haven't already), at the time it seemed not that many, but now I would be quite content to have one orgasm a month (or less, if that's what Mistress wanted...).
Good Hubby made another comment yesterday about 'self-denial', and I must say I completely agree with his point of view. If I wasn't being denied by Mistress R I don't think I would indulge myself in much self-denial, I would just go back to cumming all the time. Without her to control me there would be no fun in it really, I mean, I'd probably edge myself over and over, tease myself with it, but I know I'd come in the end. It's just not the same...
Good Hubby made another comment yesterday about 'self-denial', and I must say I completely agree with his point of view. If I wasn't being denied by Mistress R I don't think I would indulge myself in much self-denial, I would just go back to cumming all the time. Without her to control me there would be no fun in it really, I mean, I'd probably edge myself over and over, tease myself with it, but I know I'd come in the end. It's just not the same...
Learning to love it...
Another excellent post on Good Hubby's blog today, and something which really resonated with me...
"My chastity fantasy has two parts. One part is for the control to be hers, no matter her decision. The other part is that, at some point, I be subjected to lengthy denial, that we get to a point where I am truly asking her to allow me to cum, because I don’t want to hold back anymore, and she tells me that she wants me to wait. That if the decision is truly hers, then I cannot have an orgasm..."
This is so on the money, and I so get where he's coming from here. Because it's one thing for someone to deny you when they know that's what you want, it's quite another for them to deny you for their own pleasure. But as Good Hubby explains further it seems that his wife NW is moving towards just that...
As far as Mistress R goes, I don't think she's got to the stage of denying me solely for her pleasure yet, but I hope that one day she will. Like Good Hubby I would love to get to the stage where I was truly desperate to cum but she still said no, because it pleased her to keep me in denial. Do you know what, just typing that has made my cock so fucking hard...
*Some jokes just never get old.
"My chastity fantasy has two parts. One part is for the control to be hers, no matter her decision. The other part is that, at some point, I be subjected to lengthy denial, that we get to a point where I am truly asking her to allow me to cum, because I don’t want to hold back anymore, and she tells me that she wants me to wait. That if the decision is truly hers, then I cannot have an orgasm..."
This is so on the money, and I so get where he's coming from here. Because it's one thing for someone to deny you when they know that's what you want, it's quite another for them to deny you for their own pleasure. But as Good Hubby explains further it seems that his wife NW is moving towards just that...
"...that wasn’t going to happen as long as the control/denial wasn’t a facet that she was invested in. But here we have her openly stating that she was enjoying it. So, I prodded further. In essence, she has not allowed herself to become invested in the idea. She was afraid that she would really get into it and that the control would become the expected norm, for her, but that I might end it at any time. What then? She would have primed and re-wired herself to have complete control over my orgasms, only to have the rug yanked from beneath her feet. And, believe it or not, what this really tied back into was masturbation. Her fear that I would, at some point, burn out on this and revert back to old ways. When things were not so intense. And she would find herself left hanging.
She wants the control. She wants to deny me. She has bought into it!"
Which means that GoodHubby is now faced with a somewhat difficult choice, does he freely give over complete control, knowing that his wife is ready to deny him for her own pleasure rather than his own? Or, what... I don't know what the alternative is, as he hasn't really made this clear. Now of course, my initial reaction is of course YES YES YES! Because for me that sounds like perfection. But Mr Good Hubby is by his own admission a colossal wanker* (4 times a day on average, pre-chastity), and he deems a week without coming quite a long time, so it's different for him. And reading his blog I'm not so sure that he's really ready for that kind of control. It'll certainly be interesting to see what happens from here on.She wants the control. She wants to deny me. She has bought into it!"
As far as Mistress R goes, I don't think she's got to the stage of denying me solely for her pleasure yet, but I hope that one day she will. Like Good Hubby I would love to get to the stage where I was truly desperate to cum but she still said no, because it pleased her to keep me in denial. Do you know what, just typing that has made my cock so fucking hard...
*Some jokes just never get old.
Friday, 15 July 2011
Well...
Last night was mighty fine... at about 8pm I went into the bedroom and prepared the bed for Mistress R and then knelt on the end of it. She came in a few minutes later and lay back on the pillows I had placed against the headboard and then she started to use her feet to rub my cock. I was quickly hard and she spent a few minutes teasing my cock with both her feet, using her toe nails to scratch my cock and behind my ballsack. Then abruptly she stopped and told me she wanted me to go down on her.
Well, you never have to ask me twice to do that, and soon I had my face buried between her gorgeous thighs kissing all around her pussy before gently starting to lick her. I was, as ever, in heaven and was rewarded a while later as Mistress R bucked hard against my tongue and eventually I knew to stop as she became too sensitive for me to continue.
We lay down on the bed after that and then Mistress R grabbed my cock again and soon had me hard. She gave me some lovely stroking and used her hand to push my balls upwards against my body which was very enjoyable. Once again I was completely under her control and loving every second of it, but when she decided to stop, I couldn't help but beg her to continue, even though I knew this would mean using up the first of my three chances.
She agreed to continue and told me that I could have three more minutes. I love the way she watches the clock when she's doing this, at first I found it a little offputting, but now I kind of like it... bizarre as it sounds, it's very hot to be given exquisite pleasure by someone who looks like they aren't fully engaged (I'm sure 'k' understands this), kind of like a Domme who uses a foot to tease a slave while she reads a book or something... I suppose it plays to the whole idea of her pleasure being very important, while mine, well, not so much...
So eventually my three minutes were up and Mistress's beautiful teasing fingers slid up to my chest leaving my cock twitching and throbbing and me breathing quite heavily. That moment when she lets go is both wonderful and awful. I love the fact that she decides to stop when it pleases her, but at the same time every cell of my body is screaming for her to carry on, not necessarily because I want to cum (although of course there is that!) but simply because I don't want the teasing to stop. Ever.
I've had an early weigh in this week (and next week too) and I've lost another 1.5lbs, so that means a treat for me! But probably not until tomorrow as we are going out to dinner tonight and will doubtless be too full (hence the early weigh in). What's really great is that I'm now getting near to the point where I will start losing 'new' weight, rather than losing the weight I've lost and put back on over and over again. So the next few weeks should see some noticeable improvements to my body shape and before long I will be able to start wearing the mountain (and it really is a mountain!) of clothes that are too small for me to wear (and always have been). I went to see a Swiss band called 'Samael' in 2004 and bought a tour shirt and I've never worn it, and there's probably 40-50 more shirts, T-shirts and tops that are brand new but too small, some even older than the Samael one. I think when I take my YSL shirt photo tomorrow I will maybe take a photo of all my too-small clothes too.
Well, you never have to ask me twice to do that, and soon I had my face buried between her gorgeous thighs kissing all around her pussy before gently starting to lick her. I was, as ever, in heaven and was rewarded a while later as Mistress R bucked hard against my tongue and eventually I knew to stop as she became too sensitive for me to continue.
We lay down on the bed after that and then Mistress R grabbed my cock again and soon had me hard. She gave me some lovely stroking and used her hand to push my balls upwards against my body which was very enjoyable. Once again I was completely under her control and loving every second of it, but when she decided to stop, I couldn't help but beg her to continue, even though I knew this would mean using up the first of my three chances.
She agreed to continue and told me that I could have three more minutes. I love the way she watches the clock when she's doing this, at first I found it a little offputting, but now I kind of like it... bizarre as it sounds, it's very hot to be given exquisite pleasure by someone who looks like they aren't fully engaged (I'm sure 'k' understands this), kind of like a Domme who uses a foot to tease a slave while she reads a book or something... I suppose it plays to the whole idea of her pleasure being very important, while mine, well, not so much...
So eventually my three minutes were up and Mistress's beautiful teasing fingers slid up to my chest leaving my cock twitching and throbbing and me breathing quite heavily. That moment when she lets go is both wonderful and awful. I love the fact that she decides to stop when it pleases her, but at the same time every cell of my body is screaming for her to carry on, not necessarily because I want to cum (although of course there is that!) but simply because I don't want the teasing to stop. Ever.
I've had an early weigh in this week (and next week too) and I've lost another 1.5lbs, so that means a treat for me! But probably not until tomorrow as we are going out to dinner tonight and will doubtless be too full (hence the early weigh in). What's really great is that I'm now getting near to the point where I will start losing 'new' weight, rather than losing the weight I've lost and put back on over and over again. So the next few weeks should see some noticeable improvements to my body shape and before long I will be able to start wearing the mountain (and it really is a mountain!) of clothes that are too small for me to wear (and always have been). I went to see a Swiss band called 'Samael' in 2004 and bought a tour shirt and I've never worn it, and there's probably 40-50 more shirts, T-shirts and tops that are brand new but too small, some even older than the Samael one. I think when I take my YSL shirt photo tomorrow I will maybe take a photo of all my too-small clothes too.
Friday, 1 July 2011
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
5 Reasons Sarah Jameson loves male chastity...
I imagine a lot of you will have received an email today from Sarah Jameson citing the '5 Things She Loves About Male Chastity', if you haven't I can tell you the ones that caught my eye were:
1. I love how it's brought John and me even closer together... and probably goes a long way to keeping us that way. It's not just about the sex, or even the chastity. It's opened up a whole side of both of us, especially in terms of the communication.
I totally agree with this, I feel like Mistress R and I are closer than we've ever been, and we're the kind of couple who go to parties and spend all night talking to each other! Seriously, we are quite bad at socialising. We got put on the end of a table at a wedding once because the bride's mother knew we'd only talk to each other anyway, hahaha. Even so, these last few months I feel that we've been closer than ever and that's just one of the reasons I love male chastity too!
5. Knowing John is aching to cum... but can't and won't be doing so until the New Year. I admit, I was unsure at first, and I still don't profess to understand it all fully at all, but I've come to love knowing how much he wants to feel that most delicious of all releases... but simply isn't going to. For me, there's nothing quite like the groaning and begging of a long tease and denial session to put a smile on my face, lol. I can but wonder how amazing it's going to be when I eventually let him come. Assuming I do of course ;-)
Don't you just hate him (only kidding!)... which reminds me, I really must show Mistress R some of those teasing tricks in Sarah's 'How to Drive Your Man Insane With Desire' book... you can get it free by going here. I suggest you get it while you still can, because apparently it won't be free for ever.
Monday, 20 June 2011
Sunday, 19 June 2011
4/1 at last...
It's been a while coming, but Mistress R has now had 4 orgasms for every one of mine since the 1st April, and it's only going to get less fair I'm sure...
Why? Well, if we look at the stats in closer detail we find that in April I was permitted 4 orgasms, in May 2, and June's looking likely to be 1 or perhaps 2 if Mistress R is feeling particularly generous (although from the look in her eyes earlier when she said 'no, you're not cumming yet', I very much doubt it!).
I don't have a record of when all of Mistress R's orgasms have taken place, but I do know that Mistress R has had approximately 2 a week for the last twelve weeks. So using that to formulate a rough guide, we can see that in April Mistress R had 9 orgasms to my 4, in May she had 9 orgasms to my 2, and in June so far she's had 6 to my 0.
Looking at it like that, 4/1 seems rather generous, doesn't it?
Of course this is all somewhat meaningless, because Mistress R can change her mind whenever she wants. So if she wanted to, she could make me cum twice tonight, twice tomorrow night, and twice every night for the rest of the week... but I very much doubt it. I think she's starting to enjoy it far too much to do that!
Mmmm, life is good... and it's only going to get better, because tomorrow night is my first night with Mistress R as my personal trainer and not only will I get to watch her exercising in tight clothing (yum!), but I will also be taking the first step to a new, slimmer, fitter, hornier me. I've seen enough of so-called 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith's programmes to know that when you lose weight your sex drive improves (that's why she's always force feeding porkers like me Pumpkin seeds), and I'm certainly looking forward to that, even though I know it's only really going to make things harder for me... (bring it on!)
Plus I'm reliably informed that when your body looks smaller it makes your cock look bigger, and I'm all for that! I mean I've already done the pube trimming thing, I'm running out of tricks (hahaha). And of course the slimmer I get, and the bigger my cock looks, the more likely Mistress R is to want to tease me every single night until I'm a gibbering wreck (at least that's what I'm telling myself).
Well, probably not, but hey, at least I've got some new Nike shorts to make myself feel good!
Why? Well, if we look at the stats in closer detail we find that in April I was permitted 4 orgasms, in May 2, and June's looking likely to be 1 or perhaps 2 if Mistress R is feeling particularly generous (although from the look in her eyes earlier when she said 'no, you're not cumming yet', I very much doubt it!).
I don't have a record of when all of Mistress R's orgasms have taken place, but I do know that Mistress R has had approximately 2 a week for the last twelve weeks. So using that to formulate a rough guide, we can see that in April Mistress R had 9 orgasms to my 4, in May she had 9 orgasms to my 2, and in June so far she's had 6 to my 0.
Looking at it like that, 4/1 seems rather generous, doesn't it?
Of course this is all somewhat meaningless, because Mistress R can change her mind whenever she wants. So if she wanted to, she could make me cum twice tonight, twice tomorrow night, and twice every night for the rest of the week... but I very much doubt it. I think she's starting to enjoy it far too much to do that!
Mmmm, life is good... and it's only going to get better, because tomorrow night is my first night with Mistress R as my personal trainer and not only will I get to watch her exercising in tight clothing (yum!), but I will also be taking the first step to a new, slimmer, fitter, hornier me. I've seen enough of so-called 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith's programmes to know that when you lose weight your sex drive improves (that's why she's always force feeding porkers like me Pumpkin seeds), and I'm certainly looking forward to that, even though I know it's only really going to make things harder for me... (bring it on!)
Plus I'm reliably informed that when your body looks smaller it makes your cock look bigger, and I'm all for that! I mean I've already done the pube trimming thing, I'm running out of tricks (hahaha). And of course the slimmer I get, and the bigger my cock looks, the more likely Mistress R is to want to tease me every single night until I'm a gibbering wreck (at least that's what I'm telling myself).
Well, probably not, but hey, at least I've got some new Nike shorts to make myself feel good!
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Monday, 13 June 2011
Saturday, 11 June 2011
Something I've noticed...
Just lately I've noticed something quite amazing. Like I said yesterday Mistress R now seems quite confident in her new role and when she decides to stop teasing me, she no longer hesitates. But more than that, I don't think Mistress is finding it as hard to deny me as she perhaps was at the start. I hope this is true because one day I truly hope that she will lock me up properly and make me wait a very long time to cum, and she'll never do that if she feels uncomfortable about denying me. She also seems to be softening a bit to the idea of the CB-3000, so maybe my dream will come true sooner than I think...
Friday, 10 June 2011
Mmm, so lucky am I...
It goes without saying that I love being teased. I love to feel Mistress stroking me at whatever pace she pleases, all the while knowing that I am never allowed to cum unless she gives me her express permission, knowing that longed for permission could come at any time, and could just as easily be withdrawn if Mistress thought I was taking too long. I love the frustration of wanting to be stroked harder and faster when she only wants to stroke softly and slowly. I love the sensation of her nails digging in to my aching flesh. I love being inside her and having to keep myself under control. I love it when she squeezes and scratches my balls, and I love it when she decides to stop and tells me ‘That‘s all for now,’ before kissing me deeply and deliberately ignoring my aching, throbbing cock.
In this moment, as I lay there, feeling her mouth pressed against mine and longing for just one more minute of stroking, or even just one more hard squeeze, I am inevitably torn between longing for her to heed my obvious need for more and being so happy and proud that she now feels confident enough to make her own decisions. No more the hesitant ending, nowadays Mistress R stops and tells me ‘no more’ and she means it (you may recall the other night I begged her to continue and I had to use one of my three chances to get her to do so… it was totally worth it though).
I love that she has come so far in such a short time and it makes me wonder where we might be in a few years time. Once she’s whipped my body into shape (possibly quite literally!) then where will she focus her attention? Who knows, maybe by the time I hit my mid-forties I might be locked up 24/7 and wondering when, or even if, I’m going to be allowed to cum again… after all it was only seven or eight months ago that Mistress R was completely against the idea of male chastity and now she’s more than happy to leave me hanging for weeks at a time! Mmmmmmmmm, so lucky am I…
Whatever happens, I’m sure Mistress R and I will still be happy, together and just as in love as we were nearly twenty years ago when we first met. I can’t help wondering what our relative orgasm counts will be though, Mistress could be close to a thousand while I might not even have reached one hundred.
Fuck… I really hope so!
In this moment, as I lay there, feeling her mouth pressed against mine and longing for just one more minute of stroking, or even just one more hard squeeze, I am inevitably torn between longing for her to heed my obvious need for more and being so happy and proud that she now feels confident enough to make her own decisions. No more the hesitant ending, nowadays Mistress R stops and tells me ‘no more’ and she means it (you may recall the other night I begged her to continue and I had to use one of my three chances to get her to do so… it was totally worth it though).
I love that she has come so far in such a short time and it makes me wonder where we might be in a few years time. Once she’s whipped my body into shape (possibly quite literally!) then where will she focus her attention? Who knows, maybe by the time I hit my mid-forties I might be locked up 24/7 and wondering when, or even if, I’m going to be allowed to cum again… after all it was only seven or eight months ago that Mistress R was completely against the idea of male chastity and now she’s more than happy to leave me hanging for weeks at a time! Mmmmmmmmm, so lucky am I…
Whatever happens, I’m sure Mistress R and I will still be happy, together and just as in love as we were nearly twenty years ago when we first met. I can’t help wondering what our relative orgasm counts will be though, Mistress could be close to a thousand while I might not even have reached one hundred.
Fuck… I really hope so!
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