Conflicted...

I'm feeling a little conflicted about the whole chastity thing at the moment, simply because of what happened the other day. See, I was okay with it when I could make love to Mistress R and not cum, but the other day I couldn't take more than a minute without having to stop! That is not good. She asks me to put my cock in her and I have to stop after a minute because I'm going to cum, that's negatively affecting her, maybe we need to think about this some more.

Last night was wonderful though, Mistress R had a really hard orgasm on my tongue and despite being sleepy she still gave some wonderful teasing, just her hand this time, but still left me pretty desperate to cum I can tell you.

CAPTION: What's coming next...

CAPTION: As often as possible...

A great weekend...

Today has been a good day, Mistress and I went into town and then we came back and watched the awesome 'Tool Academy 3'. Just unbelievable trash-TV! Perfect for Sunday afternoon...
Anyway, a little later I came downstairs and asked Mistress R if I could please worship her feet. She said that I could and I lay on the floor and lovingly kissed her feet and sucked her toes for 10-15 minutes, it was so wonderful, I loved every single second of it. Mistress R really has truly beautiful feet, in fact it's not just my opinion, apparently the pedicurist said the same thing too! They really are gorgeous, perfectly proportioned and just so pretty. I adore them.
So after that, we lay together on our new long sofa. Me sitting up and Mistress R leaning back on me with my arm laying on her. after a while she turned over and started to rub my cock through my shorts, then she slid her hand up the leg of my shorts and started stroking my balls. Then she got up to go to the kitchen and when she came back she told me she wanted my shorts off. Well, she didn't need to ask twice and my cock was already starting to swell. I sat back down on the leather sofa and she knelt on the floor and started to suck my cock, which was Heavenly as usual. Then she surprised me by out of the blue giving my cock a few slaps, which made me harder still (I love getting my cock slapped) and then she went back to sucking and licking my cock, in a really hot way too, kinda slutty, which was pretty awesome!
Some more slapping followed and then she sucked my balls, which I don't know that she's ever done before, that completely blew me away, and then she started rubbing my cock with a featherlight touch, finally she leaned forward and I pulled her to me, eager to taste my cock on her breath. Then she sat back and gave me a few more seconds of wonderful teasing and then kissed me again, my cock throbbing against her gorgeous tits through her T-shirt. Then it was over and once again I was left breathing hard as I was denied once more.
This was my reward for losing weight again this week, and that just makes me want to lose even more next week!!!

It's funny, when we were walking this afternoon we were discussing why we thought my weightloss was succesful this time where so many times it has failed. We agreed that it was partly starting at the right time, just at the start of the better weather, partly the discipline of doing my blog every single day, the fact that I've exercised every day bar a couple of days (and sometimes more than once), and of course there was also the fact that Mistress R told me that if I wanted her to continue to control my cock, then I had to do it.
Further to that, I said to Mistress R that there's also another dimension to it, that even though I'm not really her 'slave' as such, I still do have something of that mentality. As such I really do want to be my best for her, I want her to feel like I am worth 'having'.
I am certainly not doing this with the view to being attractive to other women, I couldn't care less about other women. I would love for Mistress R to feel proud that she has an attractive husband, and even prouder that she knew no other women could ever tempt him away from her. I feel that Mistress R has put up with a lot over the last ten years, regarding my weight gain and I would dearly love to compensate for that by being as 'hot' as I can get.
I'm 41, so the chances of me getting back to where I was when Mistress R met me are perhaps a little slim, since I had a completely flat stomach (not to mention 2 feet of hair!), I mean I would love to be totally ripped because I know Mistress R loves that kind of thing (she loves Schwarzenegger, and the 'Rock'...) but that may be a little ambitious. Still, at the very least I want to be another five stones lighter and ideally with the kind of body that means instead of getting up early to go to work in the morning, she can't help herself spending the  first part of the day sucking my cock until I'm about to shoot... and then gets up and goes to work! Hahaha.
I know she loves me, but I want her to really 'fancy' me again too. She says she does of course, but if I was a stranger I know I wouldn't have a chance with her, and that fucking sucks!! Hopefully by Christmas I will be a lot closer to my goal and once I've shifted a lot of the weight I can concentrate more on weights and building my arms up and stuff.
Like I said, I'm not Mistress R's slave as such, but there is a part of me that would love to be more of a slave than I am now. This will take time I know, and that's fine. But right now even if she doesn't think so, I feel like I must be dragging down her own self-image with my weight, and that if I was in shape that would reflect on her too, like she would see herself as more attractive because she was with a guy who wasn't out of shape and whatnot.
I think Mistress R is absolutely beautiful and I want to be with her until I die, but like most women she doesn't see how beautiful she is. I want to do anything I can to help her see how gorgeous she really is, because I want her to be happy and also because if she gets to realise how attractive she really is then maybe. eventually. she will start to believe that she deserves a little more of a slave than she has now... and that would be a wonderful thing for both of us I'm sure.

Still buzzing...

Still thinking about yesterday, I can't believe how quickly I got to the edge... it was an amazing feeling being inside Mistress R and teetering on the edge like that, trying to fuck her so slow so that I wouldn't cum without permission was so hard, but so hot! I just wish it could have lasted longer. I just don't understand it, I'm sure last time I was much further into chastity and managed to hold off much better.
I really thought Mistress R would have told me to cum once I told her I was close, but she didn't and I'm so proud of her for that (she told me afterwards that she thought about it and then decided against it, which is even hotter!). It's one thing for her to be stroking me and then decide 'that's enough', but to have me inside her, ready to blow, teetering on the edge and still tell me to stop, that's quite something I think.
After all that, last night we went to a massive Fireworks display last night, which was fantastic, and then we came home and watched 'Tough Love' on the new 'Really' channel. Mistress R and I love that kind of crap, Rock of Love, Tila's Shot at Love, Charm School... and 'Tough Love' is another winner!
So around midnight we decided to go to bed, and I got into bed and started thinking about earlier and by the time Mistress R came to bed my cock was like an iron bar, much harder than it was earlier (without the flipping cocksling, how typical is that!) and when Mistress R got into bed I cuddled her and felt my cock nuzzling against her gorgeous ass (don't get excited, that's never gonna happen!) and I was seriously, seriously thinking about using my first chance to touch my cock. But Mistress R was obviously really tired and I didn't want to appear either selfish or ungrateful for earlier, so I turned over and let her go to sleep*.
Thankfully I went to sleep pretty quickly too, although not before I very naughtily gave my cock a very hard squeeze to take away some of the ache... I guess I need to chalk another one up on the old transgression counter then.

*For those of you reading this who are yet to persuade their wives/girlfriends to take control of their cock, this is the kind of thing that they should be hearing about, this is what male chastity really does for you, makes you a 'better' man... and makes you think about your partner more than yourself. Even though I was literally throbbing-hard, and really quite desperate for her to stroke me or for her to allow me to stroke myself, I was more conscious of the fact that she was tired and trying to get to sleep.

Who's a lucky boy then...

Oh my God. I've just crawled out of bed after an afternoon recess with Mistress R. First of all I worshipped her beautiful, freshly pedicured feet, then kissed my way up her legs and then began to gently worship her pussy. It felt like forever since I had tasted her (it was Monday...) and I wanted it so much. I used my fingers and my tongue to bring her off and at that moment I finally felt all the stress of the last week dissipate, it was so, so good to feel her bucking under me like that.
Once she'd finished she told me to put the Oxballs Cocksling on, which I wasn't expecting, since that usually means she's going to let me inside her. Well, that's exactly what it meant, and not only that she wanted me to go on top! Oddly, the cocksling didn't feel quite right, almost like it was twisted slightly and it felt like it was only letting a certain amount of blood into my cock, it felt like there was a back-up around the base, but it was hard enough even if it wasn't quite as hard as I would have liked.
I slid my cock inside Mistress R and began kissing her feet as I slowly eased my cock deeper inside, each thrust a little deeper than the last, it felt like the cocksling had sorted itself out after all, but now I had a new problem to contend with, I was getting close to cumming! I couldn't believe how soon it came up, because last time we did this with me on top I found it a lot easier to keep away from the edge...
Frustratingly, Mistress R seemed to be getting into it and all I could think was, oh shit, I am gonna cum, so I had to slow right down and tell her that I was getting close... that was hard enough, the temptation to fuck her hard and shoot my load in her was unbelievably hard to resist, but there was no way I was going to do that. I doubt that Mistress R would have been 'upset' as such, but I wanted her to control my orgasms and she doesn't want me to be allowed to ask to cum, so at that point my only option was to tell her that I was getting too close. Actually I really thought that when I told her that, she would just say fuck me, cum in me then, but she didn't!
I waited a few seconds, feeling my cock pulsing inside her hot, wet cunt and then slowly started gently fucking her again, but all too soon I could feel myself right on the edge again, desperately not wanting to have to stop, wanting to saviour every last rare second of being inside her wonderful pussy. And so I rode it, all the time conscious that I could so easily slip over the edge and cum without permission... until finally she pushed me back and told me to stop.
My cock was rock hard then and took an age to go down, gripped tightly as it was by the cocksling. It took quite a while for my breathing to return to normal too, and Mistress R and I laid there for a while before I took the cocksling off. I told Mistress R that I couldn't begin to tell her how amazing that was for me, and I'm sure she can't really understand it, but I know you guys can. It was sooo hot, and sooo amazing....
After we had finished and we were laying there, Mistress R asked me how long it had been since I had cum, I told her it was a week, which I assumed she knew since she had allowed me to cum after the 'wonderful' family party last Saturday night.
She said, "Oh, not that long at all then."
I loved that she said that, and told her so. I think she slightly misunderstood what I meant since she said, "Well, that's what you tell me, isn't it three weeks before it really starts to do anything."
Well, for me it's about a week before it starts to bite and then it settles down and then it's about three weeks before it really starts to kick in. But my point really was that to hear her say that was so nice, like a week was nothing at all for me to wait. Oooh, yes.
Mistress R decided it was time to get up, but graciously allowed me to kiss her pussy one more time, I can literally never get enough of her taste, ever, so I try to get as much as I can whenever I can! And here I am, typing this for you, with the taste of her still in my mouth and my balls still nice and full. And I feel GREAT!

Back on top...

No, not in the bedroom! Who knows when, or even if that will ever happen again (just ask our dear friend 'k'!) ... no, this is much more important.
Last night Mistress R and I had a nice night out at a local pub, just the two of us, it seems like weeks since we did that. Anyway, the important thing was that during the course of the evening I reassured Mistress R that I still wanted her to have control and whatever she wanted was fine by me, even if that meant that I would have to get used to only being inside her occasionally, when SHE decides that she wants it.
She asked me several times if I was sure about what I was saying, and that she still wanted me to be able to tell her if I wasn't happy. I agreed that I would if it was necessary, but most of all I just wanted things back how they should be, with her having the freedom to choose whatever she wanted to do and to grow at her own pace. I must admit, she looked really happy when I told her this, and that made me feel really happy too.
When we got home Mistress decided to tease me by sucking and stroking my cock wonderfully, she also gently pulled on my balls and gave my cock some really lovely slaps too (unbelievably hot!) while telling me that was just the start of my punishment for touching my cock without permission... I was very hard, and I loved every second of it. I was also briefly allowed to worship Mistress R's feet later, which I absolutely loved doing.
I still massively regret what happened but at least we seem to have gotten over this hump, now I'm looking forward to giving Mistress some proper attention as soon as possible. I am so desperate to taste her and make her cum now... I want that more than anything.

Speaking of which, it seems I'm not the only one with an oral obsession, given that 82% of the first forty voters in my poll have chosen the 'Lick It' option over the 'Fuck It' option... I didn't really expect that, but I can certainly understand it!

CAPTION: Private beach...

A little bit of back and forth...

Me and Good Hubby have been having a little bit of back and forth on his blog over the last twenty four hours, the culmination of which was him reminding me that not being allowed to masturbate isn't that big a problem since because he is the dominant partner in the relationship (it's very confusing...) he can simply order his wife to stimulate his cock for him. The sting in the tail is that she controls his orgasm... (as I said, it's pretty fucked up).
So anyway, the reason for all this was that one day GH was talking about long term orgasm denial and the next he was talking about a weekend of extreme domination for his wife NW, and it seemed to me that him not cumming was kind of handicapping his ability to give NW the weekend of utter submission she craved. Indeed, NW has given GH the right to cum as much as he wants that weekend, but he still insists he's not intending to do so...
Of course my situation is somewhat different, well, entirely different, lets be honest. And inevitably there's times when I do wonder exactly what I have got myself into. Take last night for example, after going down on  Mistress R and being left rock hard by her foot teasing antics, and then being teased a little more, we got up to watch TV for an hour before heading off to bed.
As I struggled to get to sleep I found myself thinking about earlier and expanding on it to the point where my cock was achingly hard and begging for attention. I was considering asking Mistress R for permission to touch my cock (early days I know, but it ached!) when I realised that she had actually managed to fall asleep (I wish I had a pound for every time that's happened in the last four months). Frustrated, I decided to get up as I plainly wasn't about to fall asleep, even though the window was open and I was getting the occasional waft of cool air. My cock and the heat were conspiring against me.
Of course I should have known this would lead me into a dangerous situation, and sure enough it wasn't more than fifteen minutes before I cracked and started to stroke my throbbing cock. I guess the memory of the paddle had faded enough to allow me to let my guard down, and so a good half hour (and numerous edges) later I returned to bed, a little less frustrated and tired enough to finally go to sleep.
Of course I regret it now, but the deed is done and I'll have to take the punishment when Mistress R decides to dish it out. But it's times like these when you do start to question the wisdom of handing all control to your partner. I mean, what was I thinking when I agreed that I wasn't allowed to touch my cock, or even to ask to be allowed to penetrate her? Not allowed to even 'ask'? Nope I just have to wait and hope that sooner or later she'll want me inside her... What kind of fool would agree to such a demand?
On the other hand, everything that I have said before about this stands, I'd rather be denied penetration than be 'indulged'. That is the worst of all options as far as I'm concerned. And as I've said before, reducing the amount of penetration allowed certainly makes it a spectacular sensation when it happens, and being allowed to cum inside Mistress R's beautiful pussy is now an 'event' rather than an everyday occurrence.
Over the last four months I estimate that I've been inside Mistress R seven or eight times. A couple of those times were full on fucking and resulted in memorable orgasms for me, and the rest have largely been fairly brief teasing. Only once in the last four months have I been on top, the one controlling the speed and force of my thrusts (fairly gentle actually since I had been denied for a while at that point, and I was wearing the cocksling which meant my cock was like an iron bar... still Mistress R certainly seemed to enjoy it!) and that one came to an end when Mistress R placed her hands on my chest, pushing me away until I slipped out of her, my aching cock still throbbing hard in the iron grip of the cocksling, desperate to unload, but not permitted to do so. I so loved that moment... and still do. And that is why, although I gave in to the desire to touch and edge myself, even though I know I will be punished for it, I still did not cross the line and give myself the one thing that only Mistress R is empowered to permit.
So yes, there are undoubtedly times when I doubt my choices, but ultimately I know I have made the right one. If this was an easy path then I know it wouldn't be half as rewarding when I reach that long awaited moment, the one when Mistress R finally tells me that I can release those weeks of pent up frustration and luxuriate in the intense pleasure of my long denied orgasm...
You can tell from my captions and writing that I fantasize about Mistress R being still more heartless, selfish about taking what she wants from me, denying me and keeping me frustrated by teasing me mercilessly until I ache for her, and I do believe that she has that potential within her. I have to constantly remind myself that it has only been four months since we really started doing this properly, and that it's not easy for her to reconcile that 'character' with the loving wife that she is.
When I read about Good Hubby putting his hands around NW's throat, I wince inside, knowing that I would find that incredibly difficult, even though it's plain that NW wants and needs to be treated that way (it makes her cum FFS!), I guess sooner or later you get used to the idea and then as confidence grows you start to give the other person what they really wants, in the way that you simply can't while you are still finding your feet.
Reading the Naked Husband's blog (here), it's clear that over the last year or so his wife has gradually come to accept that his cock is now her property, to be used for whatever pleases her. He is no longer in a position to 'fuck' her for his own pleasure, especially since he is locked in a chastity device.
I would love to know what the future holds for Mistress R and I, maybe a few years hence... or maybe it's better not to know. Maybe if I knew what was going to happen I would be panicking now... no perhaps it's better to experience the future slowly and gradually...

Well, we just missed it...

Unfortunately for one reason or another we didn't get to enjoy the pleasure of Mistress R's orgasm yesterday, but we have had the same in the last hour or so. But that does mean that July finished on a score of ten for Mistress R, which still equals her previous best, and my score (being an extremely generous two) means that Mistress R still had five for every one of mine...
But anyway, let's not get too hung up on that, because statistics are merely a diversion from the really important stuff...
So tonight, as I slowly kissed my way from Mistress's beautiful feet up her legs as she lay on the bed, she started to reach for my balls with her toes. By the time I arrived at her gorgeous pussy she was using both feet to maul my balls and my cock felt as hard as iron. It was Heaven! But I wasn't allowed to enjoy it for too long as Mistress R was more than ready for me to eat her pussy, and I willingly and gratefully did so, bringing her to a lovely hard climax as every slave should as often as required!
Afterwards we lay down and Mistress stroked my cock for a while, bringing it back to hardness while she stared past my cock into the distance, almost paying it no attention really, and then turning to kiss me and stroking a little harder. After a while of this she'd had about enough and told me that I would get ten more strokes and that was it. Well, I enjoyed each of those strokes as if they were the last. After all, it's only been a  couple of days since my last orgasm and it could be a long time until the next one!

CAPTION: What she wants...

Good day so far...

Today is my weigh day and I lost another two pounds... so that's 15lbs since the start! In addition to that, last night I was allowed to go down on my beautiful Mistress and make her cum again and then later I was very briefly allowed to worship her feet. Mistress also teased my cock a little bit, but last night I was so tired that I wasn't really fully into it... y'see about 5am yesterday morning our cat managed to get upstairs somehow and woke us up, and I never got back to sleep, and in fact I went shopping at 6am just to not lay in bed awake for another hour!
I'm still pretty sleepy today too, it's getting warm again (which we both hate!) the only upside to that is that Mistress R will be barefoot if it's hot.
:)

CAPTION: Is this what you meant...

And another one makes 36...

As I said earlier, Mistress R gave me the choice of going to the pub or going down on her, and naturally I chose the latter! Once again Mistress R had a nice orgasm (so 36 plays 8 overall) and there was some lovely stroking for me too. I'm gradually allowing myself to relax a little more to get a little closer to the edge. The main issue for me is that if I get close and have to tell her I'm close then I doubt she'll wait for me to cool down and start again, so by getting myself edged I'm most likely to cut my teasing short, and that's the last thing I want. Tricky!
One thing that Mistress R is doing lately which I am absolutely loving, is that she is dragging her hand up from between my legs and pulling my balls upwards. It is so nice, but as ever I'd love her to be rougher sometimes... and maybe dig those lovely long nails into my balls at the same time, mmmm!

I managed to get about 3,000 words written today, which takes my total so far to 23,000 odd. Hopefully one day there will be a finished novel, whether it will be this side of Christmas remains to be seen!

CAPTION: I'm proud of you...

I hardly know where to begin...

Mistress R and I got home on Saturday evening, but there was so much to do and then yesterday I was going to post here but by the time I got round to it I was getting tired and I really wanted to spend the last hours of the weekend with Mistress R. But now finally I am here (now that I've caught up with all the blogs I watch and Good Hubby's enormous posts...) and ready to tell you everything. You might want to get some kind of beverage as this could be the longest post ever...

FRIDAY.
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So as you may or may not know, this last Sunday was International Femdom Day, which provided me with the perfect excuse for spoiling Mistress R and making her feel special. To this end I decided that I would take her away somewhere for the night (Mistress R and I are both very odd when it comes to going on holidays, we both love it for about 30 hours and then we want to go home, so one night is perfect for us!).
We went away a few months ago and we stayed near Bristol in a Doubletree Hilton, which was lovely, so instead of trying to think of somewhere to go I looked at where the Doubletree Hilton's are and worked backwards. Well there aren't that many of them, but there was one near Chester and I discovered that there was a Retail Outlet place nearby too (perfect!) and the plan was that we would go there on the Friday and then come home via Tatton Park (a huge stately home) on the Saturday.
Now of course all this was planned in secret, but me being crap at keeping secrets and Mistress R pretty much hates surprises (unless they are in little boxes) I eventually told her. Which was just as well as it turned out because Mistress R managed to find two crucial pieces of information. 1) She discovered one of the best restaurants I've ever been to within fifteen minutes drive of the hotel and 2) She discovered that Tatton Park was hosting a massive flower show! Now we wouldn't have minded seeing the flower show, but we both knew that the place was going to be rammed and we hate crowds, so we decided a change of plan was in order.
As it turned out the retail outlet turned out to be a lot better than we expected and we ended up spending about five hours there, which meant that by the time we got to the Hotel it was past three in the afternoon and it really didn't seem worth going in to Chester for an hour before it started to close. So instead we relaxed a bit in the room  which was easier said than done as it turned out because first I couldn't get the air conditioning to work so we had to get a man to come and show us how it worked and then we realised the fridge in our room was broken so another call to reception (we wouldn't have bothered but the room was so hot and we'd bought a selection of Lindt chocolates at the Retail Outlet and we didn't want them to melt) and fair play to them they brought us a new fridge and fitted it... by which time, we were a bit fratchety and my hoped for afternoon of pussy worship looked like it was going down the pan... hmm. At this point even the complimentary Doubletree cookie wasn't enough to put a smile back on my face (it was nicely cinnamony, but not quite as nice as the Bristol one somehow).
Mistress R was feeling particularly fidgety and she suddenly decided that we should go for a walk (because we'd only spent like five hours walking around the Retail Outlet, yes I know it's not exactly cardio-vascular but still, I have a bad foot!). So we walked around the hotel in about five minutes and Mistress R decided that we should go to the gym since we had the run of the place. Well as you can imagine, I was not best pleased with this. I had envisaged a lazy afternoon spent gently licking Mistress R's pussy and now I was going to be spending my leisure time on a fucking treadmill. Excellent.
But, this weekend was supposed to be about making her feel special so I bit my lip (to some extent) and we spent a half hour on the treadmills, which was fine actually, great treadmills they had there, much better than the one I had until fairly recently anyway, but probably a lot more expensive to be fair. So after thirty minutes Mistress R had had enough while I was in the zone and ready to carry on for another half hour. So we went back to the room and showered (Mistress R turned the shower on but couldn't figure out how to turn it off again so she called on my massive man-brain to figure it out for her) and then I read a bit of my book before, giving Mistress R one of the three pairs of earrings  I had bought for the weekend (she loved them all - but then I do have impeccable taste, haha) and then we went out to the restaurant Mistress R had found on the net.
It was called The Pheasant Inn and it was in a nearby village and it was quite the nicest gastro-pub/restaurant I have ever been in and the food was delicious. We left about 10:45 feeling very fat and content, and in Mistress R's case slightly inebriated (I rarely drink anything at all and of course I was driving). Despite this when we returned to the room Mistress R decided that it was time for my treat (since I had once again lost weight this week: another 1.5lbs, making a total of 13lbs in five weeks!) and had me lay on the bed and then gave me a lovely but quite gentle blowjob (it later transpired that my comments about her hurting me the other day had backfired on me and I had to reassure her that it was only that one thing she had done which had hurt and that if anything I would like her to be more rough with me generally).
Of course with our Femdom session looming on Sunday I knew that she wouldn't let me cum, whether or not she was going to let me cum on Sunday, but it was still lovely and I enjoyed every last second of it and afterwards I decided to give her the next pair of earrings (that I had originally intended to give her the next morning).
Feeling quite tired now we decided to call it a night, of course I was massively disappointed that I hadn't got to go down on Mistress R, especially as I knew she wouldn't even want me to do it the next morning lest it took the edge of the session on Sunday, but Mistress R doesn't find it very easy to cum when she's been drinking and I was stuffed full of Gastro pub grub. So we turned off the air conditioning (too noisy) and went to sleep.
Well, that was a mistake, the room was a like an oven (it wasn't even that warm outside) and I woke up about three hours later sweating like a bastard and looked over to see Mistress R laying on top of the bedclothes (which she never, ever does). There was a phone by her side of the bed which had a blue screen on it which somehow incredibly lit up the whole room and this blue light made her look like an erotic photo, I must have laid for ten or fifteen minutes enjoying the beautiful sight of Mistress R laying on her back bathed in this blue light, she looked absolutely stunning and I wished I had a camera with me so that I could take a photo, eventually I fell asleep.
Incidentally, when I write things like that Mistress R often comments that she's really not all that and I am misleading my readers. Well bollocks to that, she is beautiful and sexy as hell even if she doesn't see it herself. I wish she could see herself through my eyes and then she would realise how utterly gorgeous she is. It is one of my pet hates that women are manipulated by the media to think that they are unattractive unless they conform to the stereotypical images that they present, even though it's well known that even the women they hold up as role models don't actually look like that (have you seen Kelly Brook without the right lighting and retouching, hmm....). I find it deeply tragic and one of the things that I love about Femdom is that it gives the opportunity for the woman to feel like she is completely worshipped and treasured above all others.
One of the best parts of any day for me is first thing in the morning when Mistress R gets out of bed and literally the first thing I see is her naked, it's wonderful and yet frustrating because every morning without fail I want to grab her and pull her back into bed so that I can bring her to orgasm...
But of course, like every woman, she would point to bits of her body that she thinks aren't 'perfect' whereas all I see is one completely awesome and utterly sexy package of hotness. On the upside I do think she is starting to see it my way, which is great because there's nothing sexier than a sexy hot woman who knows she's sexy and hot and uses it to tease and frustrate her husband (that'll be me!).
Speaking of which, as you know, I adore Mistress R's sexy feet and one of the things I wanted to do this weekend was to buy her some really slutty shoes that show off her gorgeous feet and toes. This was actually Mistress R's idea initially (even better!!!) but I was all for it (of course!) and so we went in search of shoes that were suitably slutty but not impossible to walk in (Mistress R isn't big on massive heels). And of course where better to find them than a retail outlet?
Well, after several false starts (there's a lot of slutty shoes about but nearly all of them have six inch heels, and Mistress's tiny feet would barely touch the floor!) we came across some Carvelo's in Kurt Geiger and we both thought they were just perfect.

Mmm, so fucking hot!!!

These shoes have little zips at the back and Mistress R was struggling to get them off and we were giggling as she held her foot out and said 'Take them off!', well, frankly I was about ready to do just that and suck her toes right in the middle of the shop... fortunately sanity prevailed and we managed to purchase the shoes without further incident.

SATURDAY

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So Saturday arrived and after a shower and breakfast (slightly disappointing it must be said) we left the hotel and headed into Chester. It was okay, we walked around the city walls, a good 40 minute walk, and we went on a boat trip up the river (which was great), we also had some lovely locally produced Mint Choc Chip ice cream and then we looked at each other and said 'Time to go home'!
It was a couple of hours drive back which passed relatively quickly and it was nice to get home. After we had unpacked all our goodies (including a ton of Hotel Chocolat which is to be severely rationed and not gobbled!) I had to go do the shopping and then I did some cooking, washed the cars and then tried to post something to the blog, but was too tired.

SUNDAY
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Finally the day had arrived, Mistress R got her last pair of earrings (Swarovski crystals, which she loved) but first there was the small matter of our Femdom session. Of course, we had agreed that from now on she was under no obligation to let me cum in the sessions, and since I had had the most spectacular and wonderful orgasm just seven days ago I was hoping that she wouldn't allow me to cum, but I still had my doubts that she would go through with it.
The thing is we've been having these sessions for a long time now and every single time I have cum, and for the last few years at least, every single time I have been made to lick my cum off her hand, foot or breast, so to have a session finish without her letting me cum was a massive deal. But for some time now I had wanted her to deny me in the session, even if it was only once, that way it would introduce the possibility of denial in every session. In our very recent sessions she had said she might decide not to let me cum, and I loved that she said it, but deep down I knew it was a hollow threat.
The problem was that the sessions were in place long before the chastity thing, and so once it got to the point where I had gone from one session to the next without cumming (28 days) it was apparent that the sessions would become a stumbling block if Mistress R wanted to make me wait longer. For me, I wanted her to have complete control of my orgasms, and I wanted to remove the obligation for her to allow me to cum.
We discussed this recently after Mistress had read posts I had made on my blog, since she was unsure that what I was posting was what I actually genuinely felt, and once I had told her that it was indeed how I felt, that I genuinely wanted her to have complete and utter control over my orgasms she seemed much happier about it and that is how we came to this huge turning point...
The session began as always with me on my knees, waiting for her in the bedroom, blindfolded, with ankle and wrist cuffs in place and the wonderful Oxballs Cocksling (buy one, you won't be disappointed!) fitted around my cock and balls. Mistress entered and I felt her toenails scratching at my balls before she started talking to me about how she needed to punish me for failing to keep my hands off my cock. She said that even though I had only touched it twice, which was a great improvement, it couldn't be overlooked that one of those times was an outrageous flaunting of her rules, she also suggested that in future the length of time I spent touching my cock would be taken into account rather than merely the number of 'instances'.
She had me turn and lean over the bed and then she gave me ten lashes of the whip, each one I thanked her for and counted, even the ones where the tails curled around my hip slightly and caused me to wince. Then she started with the paddle, first the suede side and then the leather, harder and stingier every time. At the ninth I was really feeling it and barely got the words out, thankfully she stopped at eleven and I was told to kneel back down again.
Then she lay on the bed and told me to start worshipping her feet, which I love doing. I could hear her finger working it's way inside her pussy as I was sucking her toes and kissing her instep and then she allowed me to lick her finger clean before continuing with my task. I love it when she has me worship her feet, especially when she talks to me while I do it. This time was no exception as she related to me how my cock was her cock now, and that it was her's to play with, tease, suck, stroke, bite (oh yes!) or lock up if that was what pleased her... this had the effect of making my cock (shrivelled to nothing by the pain of the paddle just a few moments previously) absolutely rock hard, and made me hope that it wouldn't be too much longer until she touched it.
She told me to stop worshipping her feet and had me get on the bed, where she tied me spreadeagled on my back. Almost immediately she mounted my face and I licked her pussy, focussing on her clit which brought some appreciative groans from Mistress's throat as she leaned back to stroke my rock hard cock. After a while she got off and knelt beside me on the bed, stroking my cock before picking up the small cock whip. She gave my cock a nice whipping (interspersed with more stroking and face sitting), which was very intense but very hot all the same, and then she let go and the next thing I know she was pushing a smallish dildo into my ass, before whipping my cock some more.
Then she decided she wanted to fill my ass more, so she picked up the black rubber butt plug and lubed it up. She got it a fair way in, but with me on my back it was never going to get past the 'shoulders' and stay in, which was quite disappointing really. Frustrated, Mistress R gave up on that and grabbed her strap-on, plunging it into my ass in one thrust (I love it when she does things like that, even though it was a little uncomfortable, because out of session she would never do that and it reassures me that there is more potential natural dominance in Mistress R just waiting to be brought to the surface...). Then she attached clothes pegs to my nipples and sat on my face one more time before telling me that she was leaving me alone for a while and that when she came back I would be going down on her.
She left me alone for ten minutes or so and when she came back she finally took my blindfold off and I could see her gorgeous body at last. She had me remove the cocksling and then she lay down on the bed and told me to make her cum, while I blissfully lay on my front determined to give her the best pussy worship I could possibly manage. After about ten or fifteen minutes Mistress R bucked hard against me and I grabbed hold of her and worked her clit with my tongue until she finally pushed my head away, completely spent. I know it was good because for a moment she slipped out of character and said 'Thank you baby', which made me smile, but then it was back to business and she told me to lick her juices off the black PVC sheet and then she stood on the bed in front of me and had me lick all the pussy juice of her thighs and then told me to lick between her ass cheeks. She allowed me to tongue her ass for about a minute I guess, which was wonderful and much anticipated, before she told me to stop and then tied my wrists to the bed and told me to get my ass in the air.
I heard her pick up the strap-on again and secure it around her waist, then she lubed it and my ass nicely and got on the bed behind me. Soon she was inside me, fucking my ass and reaching around to stroke my half hard cock (sometimes the strap-on makes me hard sometimes it has the complete opposite effect) she fucked me for a few minutes and then pulled out and untied my wrists. She told me to turn over and then sat astride me, pushing the strap-on into my mouth (having removed the condom...) and telling me how hot I looked sucking her cock. Then she got off me and removed the strap-on and started stroking my cock again, she straddled my face and pressed her ass against my mouth again, I wanted to tongue it but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to or not... so I simply stuck out my tongue a little way between my lips and allowed her to press her asshole against it.
Finally she got off again and knelt beside me on bed, she looked so beautiful then, just beautiful, gently stroking my cock and here was the moment of truth... was she going to make me cum like every time before, or was she going to take full control of my orgasms? I was conflicted, of course I wanted to cum, but at the same time I wanted her to take that control and deny me. As I watched her she gave little away, but I noticed she kept glancing at the clock, watching the minutes and seconds of the hour tick down to nothing as she reminded me that I had to try harder not to touch my cock, and then.... she let my cock go.
"End of session," she said, obviously feeling slightly odd about the fact that I hadn't cum. I lay there for a moment while she fetched a glass of water and then afterwards we lay there enjoying each other's closeness.
Later she sought reassurance that I wasn't disappointed that I hadn't been allowed to cum, I wasn't disappointed, it just felt weird (actually one of the strangest things about it was not finishing the session with the taste of cum in my mouth)... but I was so happy because I made her cum so hard and because by not allowing me to cum she had broken through the last remaining barrier to her having complete control of my orgasms. It truly was a massive milestone moment and now the truth is I really don't have the foggiest idea when I will cum again, which feels absolutely wonderful. Finally Mistress R has 100% control of my orgasms, and I LOVE it.

MONDAY
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This morning I found a lovely card from Mistress R thanking her for making her weekend so amazing and her feel so spoiled and satisfied. I love her so much, and I'm already impatient to taste her pussy again and make her cum (who am I kidding, that started about two minutes after I finished licking the sheet clean yesterday).

CAPTION: A mistake...

Feeling quite grumpy today...

...despite the lingering memory of the lovely orgasm I enjoyed giving Mistress R last night, mainly because one of our smoke alarms started beeping at 5:30am because the battery was dying. Fucking great. And I never got back to sleep, so now I feel like crap. At least it meant I could get up and do my exercise before work, which is something I suppose.
The only really good thing about being awake early was getting to see Mistress R's beautiful nakedness as she got out of bed. She really is smoking hot (as Brett Michaels would say), this of course provided me with some massive morning wood (which made sleep even less likely to return) and which unfortunately led to transgression number two... only a short one this time mind, a couple of minutes tops (I can hear Miss Christina tutting loudly to herself and mentally popping a cum-cube from her freezer tray).
This is quite bad since I only came three days ago, but even the night before last I was thinking about using one of my three chances until I remembered that it was only 24hrs since I was allowed to cum! Mind you, since Mistress R surprised me by letting me cum earlier than expected I ended up only using one of my three in three weeks, so holding on to them isn't necessarily the best of plans!
I think I might have said last time that when you are allowed to cum, it makes you want to cum again... but I usually get through the first week pretty easy, so to slip up this early doesn't bode well for the next who knows how many days or weeks!

50 followers...

Well, I seem to be picking up followers at a goodly rate of late, ten more have joined in the last fortnight! Welcome to you all I hope you enjoy my blog and find plenty of good reading here!

Well, as you can imagine, I'm sitting here with Mistress R's taste and scent still on my tongue and in my nostrils... it was lovely and she came nice and hard. For me, she started with some very nice foot teasing and finished with a very intense blowjob... almost too intense the way she was pulling back my foreskin, and not a single stroke to speak of, just her tongue and lips on my cock head (and her teeth too, but I quite like that, hehehe).

A change of mindset...

Just been reading GoodHubby's blog (here) where he is talking about the changes in his attitude to sex since he's started being denied. As he says, he no longer expects to be allowed to cum and sex is about his wife's pleasure and about the pleasure of being teased to the edge. I completely agree with what he says, I find that I take more pleasure from being controlled and teased than I did from being free to have sex, masturbate and cum whenever I wanted to, and on top of that when Mistress does allow me to cum, it is beyond anything I experienced pre-chastity. On the subject of improving my appreciation of Mistress R's pleasure, well I can't honestly say there's a massive difference, since I have long been massively pre-occupied with that anyway, but it certainly hasn't hindered it any and I guess the fact that Mistress controls when I am allowed to go down on her means that it's better for her because she's obviously choosing to 'use' my tongue when she is in the mood.
So all in all, despite the seeming contradiction, male chastity improves your sex life, FACT!